I am my own pioneer.
Post a photo of someone you love
The love of my life and the reason why I’m having 12 kids.
Post a picture that has meaning but only to you.
For me this photo symbolizes a few beginnings. When I took this photo I think I broke up with my current bf and I was trying to start a new leaf in Philly. (I didn’t know then there was no me without him). When I took this photo I was evolving into something good. When I look at it I don’t forget either I remember exactly how I felt and what I was doing.
Post a photo of someone that means a lot to you.
My best friend and my sister, she is my back bone and a lot of my problems she was my second voice in most of my decisions.
Fears
List your biggest fears.
I’m not exactly scared of failing but I’m scared of not fulfilling all that I want to and have planned. My goals and achievements all play into each other and work as counter parts. So for me to not complete them is scary as hell. I have too much to other to let my goals go to waist.
I have tried to face them but I just can not, my life stops when I come across water bugs. I can not deal with them. There was one time I spent 2 hours trying to kill one, it was around 2 in the morning and I was going back and fourth with one. I have never had to experience one inside my house until I moved to Philadelphia. There is a small opening in my fire place and I believe it got in through there. I am too overwhelmed I will go around the block to avoid crossing paths with one.
Habits
A habit you didn’t wish you possessed?
I still bite my nails like I have no self control. When Im stressed they fall off after growing out so strong and lovely. But when they try to grow in again I have a habit of nibbling for comfort. I wish I didnt have to deal with it to begin with. Its pretty difficult to break a habit you’ve had since birth. It sucks for me to feel 100% confident with every thing except my hands. They make pictures look terrible, in most of mine you can clearly noticing me trying to hide them. If you get a peep you can see the peeling skin. Its more disgusting in person.
I wonder what would my life be like if I kicked the habit earlier in life, would I have still pick it back up? Would my nails be long and strong?
I have many other habits but that for me is the worst because it shows in my physical appearance and I cant hide that.
Last year
Have you changed in the last year?
To my knowledge I am exactly the same which a few nooks and crannies filled in. I have grown tremendously as we all should every year. I’m always bent on changing and reinforcing your mindset because that will ultimately determine your growth. It will control what your doing and where you are going. I would like to always be able to update my mindset for the better or downgrade it if needed to.
I have found a way to tolerate more from people because of my patience level. I really still need to work on that. I think everyone should always work on their patience and tolerance. It will really help your own stress levels and make you feel better when people know they can come to you.
As always I’ve been working on me which it a never ending work of art and process. But as far as what has changed about me from last year I can say my tolerance.
Post an old picture of yourself
Anything unconventional was what I went for, not because I was trying so hard to be against what everyone was doing. But I genuinely hated how my peers dressed. It was always whack to me. I believe I was in 8th or 9th grade.
Post a picture that makes you smile
These are my sisters daughters Alisha (left) she’s 4 years old and Nia who’s 6 years old. I stole this from my sister’s facebook and I saved it to my phone and photobucket. I look at it at least 4 times a week. It always makes me smile.
On sexual Paper
Explain your tumblr name
It started out as me trying to write,not exactly sure what but I picked up a pen. Then it turned into this short cute poem about writing. Eventually I transformed the poem and it representation into a whole another meaning. Writing on sexual paper is when you become extremely personal with your thoughts before you put them down on paper. When I was trying to write I came up with squat doo-doo. I was coming off a writing hiatus and I was stumped. I was scratching just the surface of what I wanted to write about which is not how I get down.
My writing will never lie for me, anything I took the time out to put on paper is all truth. I can never lie when I write, ever. Its a curse but a gift because you’re guaranteed to get only genuine pieces.Even my fictional writing comes from a place a truth. So writing on sexual paper means more then a few things. After I finished this short piece I do know that I wrote the greatest short story after and a few diary entries after that. I take documentation very seriously and I always what to be able to look back and remember. It explains my numerous number of blogs. They are my digital scrapbooks which I have countless amounts of.
I was possibly horny when I was writing so what I was actually thinking went into the meaning. For me it means to be real with yourself and how you feel, be real with who you want to be and want you want to do. Never apologize for who you are (as long as its really you) and never explain your judgement to the world. Its none of their business.
Original Poem
I feel a writing boom coming
I feel a bunch of poems, quotes and stories ready to burst out
Like penetration I feel it coming
I feel a writing boom coming
I want to express my mood
I want my thoughts to feel my fingertips
and my feelings to feel my paper
Im feeling a certain explosion
Im shaking all over
I can feel it from my thighs to my waist
and my lips to my hips
Im gonna make it happen
because
I feel a writing boom coming
Im ready to lay it down
