These Four Rooms

It always takes me a bit long to adjust to being completely alone. I don’t always have to be around people I’m just so damn use to it. Its irritating though, when my independence is tested. I could spend hours locked away writing or reading. I found a way to piece peacefulness from commotion and noise, probably because I had to. Till this day I can read quietly in a noisy room hence the training. I don’t mind in a way but I am bothered at how content I am without any forms of communication with the outside world. Beside my cell phone (which barely counts, the screen has been broken for months and I can only see in daylight). I have yet to go through a series of any deep epiphany. I’m just not there yet (if that’s a place I’ll ever be). I love the company of others. I don’t like to hear myself talk, honestly, but I can carry on a lonnnng drawn out conversation. I love a room full of laughing people (as long as I’m in on the jokes) and I adore debates. I discovered something about myself which is more important then what I know I enjoy most. What I hold more dear than conversation, and what I put on my own crystal pedestal. Is the option to be surrounded.

LORD!

I was starting to think that I hated my family and I wanted to be far away for as long as possible. I thought I was beginning to hate my bf’s face. At some point I deemed myself anti-social and one of those people who claim they hate other people. I was traveling back and fourth and was forced to cram a week’s events into a weekend. Tiresome I was and routine was messing with psyche. Its something about routine that does not cut it for me. I always question EVERYTHING when something doesn’t change. 

From this I discovered I needed space to breath on a constant, not when I need it and not when I am at a lost for air. But I need a chance to think in my own space without someone else’s voice. The judgement that happens within my own mind is not only isolated from the worlds opinion on me. But I can allow myself to think at an easier pace because I am completely alone. No irritated interruptions , no forced conversations, and no distracting media. I can except things much easier and it doesn’t bother me.

Its a miracle.

But i know it won’t last long. So I will take my hour long baths with no worry and eat eat eat.

charmedfeathers:

Please take a look at my website on its new platform.

Now with a sign up option for our bi-weekly newsletter, updates on shows, and items on sale. Sign up includes new members only pages. I have worked so hard on this new platform and hope to be able to connect more with you guys with chats and forums. 

My custom order section is up and orders are being taken now for headbands, earrings, and other Make it Happen specialties.